Monday, October 6, 2008

Almond chicken with honey lime disaster

So after weeks of putting it off, I decided to
go through with a recipe that caught my eye
a couple weeks ago. It's temptingly called
"Almond chicken with Honey lime sauce".
The recipe can be found at
or RIGHT HERE. Well anyways, suffice to say
it came out a bit, er. bland. The fact that

2 whole boneless, skinless chicken breasts, halved
2 tablespoons flour
1 egg
2 teaspoons soy sauce
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
3/4 cup finely ground almonds
3/4 cup corn flake crumbs, crushed
1 tablespoon Vegetable oil
1/2 cup apple juice
1 lime, juiced
2 teaspoons cornstarch
1/4 cup honey

is all you really need to work with is, fine...
yet, i didn't have corn flakes.
(did you know, the creator of corn flakes
advocated women getting a heinous
procedure done to prevent them
from *ahem* having fun alone?

yeah. when you read up on that dude,
you won't want to support him, no wait,
he's probably dead, right? yeah.
I'm sure of it. Don't support his ghost
I assume.

(Protip: as a child, I was such a fatso,
that i didn't have frosted flakes, I'd have
corn flakes and dump copious amounts
of sugar on them. It tasted like hell.)

I also snorted a pile of salt after watching
"Scarface" on television.

Anyways, I didn't have any cornflakes,
so Guerilla-style, I used strawberry flavored
Special-K (not the cat tranquilizer drug)
and sifted out all the freeze dried disgusting berries.
anyways, grinded the almonds like so, and I got to
say once it came to the point of breading the chicken
with the mixture of almonds and fake cornflakes
The breasts looked quite enticing. (mind out of gutter, plz.)

Sadly though, the almond chicken went the way of
another experiment, which i forgot. Yet, my
experimentation with the Corn muffins went swimmingly.
It was bland tasting, even with the lovely almond coating.
there was nothing, I'm sure it was of my failure of some sort,
since it got 5 star reviews (thought the collected internet's
sense of taste is highly questionable, due to the existence of
furry pornography.)

Anyway give the recipe your own crack see how it comes out
for you, and if it's delicious. UP YOURS and dave me a slice.

also, next on the agenda is Onion soup with shiitake mushrooms,
and for my tongue to reach the zenith of pleasure

No comments: